Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
