so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
