just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
