Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
