i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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