the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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