Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
