Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
