Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
