I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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