Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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