Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
