If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
