Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
