We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
