He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
