Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
