i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it's not cheating when I paid for it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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