the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
