i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
