I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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