we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
