Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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