it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
