Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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