farters have to be the big spoon...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
