Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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