its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
