just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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