The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
