Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize