He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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