Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
