be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize