I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize