R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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