So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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