WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
my being single is dangerous.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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