i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
