we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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