tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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