Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
