it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize