I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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