I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
