Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
