bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
