ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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