in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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