It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
