Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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