I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
