"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize