She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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