no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
