Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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