So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
