I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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